Nov. 15-21

There’s a solemnity this week, the Feast of Christ the King. Now, a solemnity is a feast day of the highest order – think Christmas, Easter, Pentecost, Epiphany ... Interestingly, though, this particular one dates back only to 1925.


#10  Gertrude the Great (Nov 16)

AKA Great Gerty …

Gertrude lived in 13th Century Germany. She was a Benedictine sister, having lived in the convent since the age of 4. She was a mystic and writer, with her works influencing a number of subsequent saints.

So, what made her so great? Well, there are certainly a lot of St. Gertrudes out there (I count 9 others), so it is important that they not get all mixed up.  And our Gertrude did seem to accomplish quite a lot and also act as a major influence over the years. So … Hard to believe, though, but Gert is the only female saint out there to get that particular appellation of “Great.”

Oops, wrong Gerty

#9  Lazarus Zographos (Nov 17)

Lazarus Zographos was an anti-iconoclast. And that actually means something much more specific than someone who’s doesn’t like rebels.

Hard to believe, but whether to use religious images was a huge issue in the Byzantine Empire during the 8th and 9th Centuries.  Those who were against icons were known as “iconoclasts” – literally, “image breakers.”

Those who were for icons – like Laz – were “anti-iconoclasts.” Lazarus was, in fact, a famous painter of icons, and a monk to boot. Under certain iconoclast rulers, he would suffer for his art, being thrown in prison and tortured for refusing to destroy his icons or give up his work.

Oh, almost forgot … “Zographos” is actually just Greek for “painter.”

I think that's him in the hoodie

#8  Edmund of East Anglia (Nov 20)
Representation:  man with his severed head between the paws of a wolf

I’m taking it Edmund was a martyr then …

And sure enough, he was. Edmund was king of East Anglia, in the latter part of the 9th Century. He was martyred by invading Vikings (or perhaps Danes) who, after Edmund refused to renounce Christianity, sliced and diced him up pretty good.

The wolf? Here’s the explanation on Wikipedia:

According to one legend, his head was then thrown into the forest, but was found safe by searchers after following the cries of a wolf that was calling, "Hic, Hic, Hic" – "Here, Here, Here".

At one time, Edmund was the patron saint of England. His shrine, at Bury St. Edmunds, was a very popular patronage site.

There you go!

#7  Hugh of Lincoln (Nov 17)
Representation:  man with a swan at his death bed

So, I’m imagining Hugh’s last words were something along the lines of, “What the heck is that doing here?”

Hugh lived in the 12th Century. Born in France, he would become a Carthusian monk, moving to England when the order sought to establish a presence there. There, he would become a bishop, a builder of churches and monasteries, and one of England’s more well-known and influential saints.

Oh, that swan? Wikipedia is here to help us out again:

Hugh loved all the animals in the monastery gardens, especially a wild swan that would eat from his hand and follow him about and yet the swan would attack anyone else who came near Hugh.

Are you sure that's not a flamingo?

#6  Hélène-Marie-Philippine de Chappotin de Neuville (Nov 15)

Of, if you prefer her religious name, Mary of the Passion …  And seeing that that’s 25 characters, 1 space and 2 dashes less, I would well imagine you would.

Mary was born in 1839, in France. Originally a cloistered nun, she later established a mission convent in India, then broke off from her existing order to found the Franciscan Missionaries of Mary. This order, though still contemplative, also offered medical service to women in their local community. The group grew by leaps and bounds, and today numbers 6,700 nuns, the citizens of 80 nations, serving in 76 countries.

#5  Mechtilde of Helfta (Nov 19)

Just rolls right off the tongue …

But would you believe it could have been a lot worse? Mechtilde was actually born Mechtilde von Hackeborn-Wippra, into a well-known noble German family. Entering the convent at age 7, she would eventually become a Benedictine nun. She was particularly known for her musical abilities (she was called the “Nightingale of Helfta”), teaching children (including our #10 this week, Gertrude the Great), and her “extreme amiability” (Wikipeda, again).

#4  Yosafat Kotsylovsky (Nov 17)

Ow, I think I just hurt my tongue!

And if that wasn’t painful enough, I’ll have you know that Yosafat’s official title was Eparch of Przemyśl!

Yosafat was a Ukrainian Greek Catholic. They’re one of a number of Eastern Rite Catholic sects, all of which recognize the Pope. In addition to being an eparch (basically, a bishop), Yosafat is also considered a martyr, having died in a Soviet prison camp.

Relaxing at home, I take it

#3  Josaphata Mykhailyna Hordashevska

I don’t think I’ll ever be able to use my tongue again!

First of all, Josaphata is indeed the feminine form of Josaphat. Second, Josaphata was also – like Yosafat – a member of the Ukrainian Greek Catholic church.

Interestingly, though, Jospahata has a lot more in common with #6 on our list, Mary of the Passion. Like Mary, Josie joined a contemplative order, but was then tasked with forming a new order that would move out into the world, serving the local community. And like Mary’s new order, Josaphat’s became wildly popular.

I have no idea what the mini people are all about

#2  Leopold III (Nov 15)
Representation:  armed man with a cross on his coronet, a banner with three eagles, and a model of the church of Heiligenkreuz in his hand

But what was he armed with?  Geez, these descriptions are so vague.

So, let me try to explain all this. First, the coronet … That’s due to Leopold’s being Margrave of Austria. The arms? That’s for defeating Hungarian invaders in battle. Heiligenkreuz was a monastery – one of many – Leopold founded.

I would imagine the cross is because of Leopold’s piety. The three eagles? Sorry, can’t help you there.

By the by, Leopold is the patron saint of Austria.

So, what happened to the eagles?

#1  Florinus of Remus (Nov 17)

Not to be confused with Remus of Florinus.

He is, however, the same guy as:

• Florinus of Mazia
• Florinus of Val Venosta
• Florinus of Matsch
• Florinus of Ramosch
• Florinus of Vinschgau
• Florinus of Vnuost
• Florinus of Chur
• Florinus of Finsgowe

Who was he? Florinus (who’s also known as Florin and Florian) was a 9th Century priest, born in Italy but working in Switzerland. He was known for living like a hermit and performing miracles, but otherwise simply being the local parish priest. There’s not much more on him, I’m afraid – he’s rather on the obscure side.

Sorry, not sure how he ended up behind bars

Honorable Mention

• Machudd of Llanfechell
• Heliodorus of Pamphylia
• Nerses the Great
• Rufus of Rome
• Maximus of Mainz
• Dasius of Dorostorum
• Martyrs of Hippo
• Mummolus of Lagny
• Cosmas Takeya Sozaburo
• Martyred Visitationists of Madrid

Nov. 8-14

This week seems to be a good one for B-level saints.  These are folks that you’ve probably heard of only if you’re Catholic – Martin of Tours, Leo the Great, Frances Xavier Cabrini …

The ten below?  Well, to have heard of them, you’d probably have to be 1) seriously Catholic and 2) possibly also a little odd yourself.


#10  Vitonus of Verdun (Nov 9)

Very vierd.

Vitonis was a French saint who lived in the 5th and 6th centuries. He was a missionary to the region of Lorraine (where Verdun is located). There, he would become bishop, miracle worker, and founder of a seminary and abbey. The latter would be subsequently named after him, and is known today as St. Vanne (other alternate names of his include Vaune and Vitone).


#9  Cunibert of Cologne  (Nov 12)

Correspondingly.

In addition to the awesome alliteration, Cunibert was also a man of many names. In addition to plain ol’ Cunibert, we’ve also got Cunipert, Kunibert, and Honoberht (?!?!). For the second part, we’ve also got Keulen, Köln, Trèves, and Trier. Put those two together, and we’ve got 16 different permutations and combinations.

Whatever you might call him, he lived in the 600s, was the bishop of the German city of Cologne, acted as co-regent for the Frankish kingdom of Autrasia, and founded many churches and monasteries.

His typical representation is “bishop with a bird (usually a dove or pigeon), often speaking in his ear or leading him somewhere.” This comes from a pious legend where said bird helped Cunibert find the long-lost grave of St. Ursula.

#8  Homobonus of Cremona (Nov 13)

As far as I can tell, that first name is not pronounced “homo bonus.” It seems to be more correctly rendered as “huh-MAH-buh-nis.” Too bad.

Our guy Homo (I’m assuming that’s what his friends called him), was actually born Omobono Tucenghi in 12th Century Italy. That first name means “good man” (“Homobonus” is merely the Latin version). I have no idea what that last name means (but can guess it’s a bear to pronounce properly).

Interestingly, Homobonus was very much a man of this world – he was married, and a well-off merchant as well. That last part explains his patronage of tailors, shoemakers, clothworkers, and business people in general. In fact, Homo’s been something of a hot commodity lately in business circles (if we can believe Wikipedia, that is):

In recent years, statuettes of Saint Homobonus are being sold as novelty items or executive toys in the United States. As the patron saint of business people, Homobonus has become a relevant figure in corporate culture. There is even a digital marketing agency that takes the saint's name. Omobono Ltd is based in Cambridge, UK. A priest was one of the founders of the organization. Another digital company in Texas, specializing in webhosting, combines Sheen (as in Fulton Sheen) with Omo to form Sheenomo [Sheenomo.com].

Now, Homobonus was also a very devout person and gave most of his riches away to charity. So, you got’s to do ‘em both – okay, you MBA types?

#7  Aedh Mac Bricc (Nov 10)

Odd as it may seem, this is not how someone clears their throat in Gaelic.

Aedh lived in 6th Century Ireland. He was a bishop, founded monasteries, and cured headaches. As for that last bit, he actually cured a particular doozy of St. Brigid’s – making him forever one of about two dozen patrons you can call on when you’re suffering from cephalalgia.

There’s a curious story out there about Aedh:

He frequently visited settlements of holy virgins who received him with the respect due to a man of his position. On one occasion, when he perceived that the girl serving him was pregnant he fled from the building both to avoid the pollution and to shame her. She confessed her sins and did penance. Áed was not one to leave someone under his care in a difficult situation; he blessed her womb and the baby disappeared as if it had never been there.

Not sure what this says about Church doctrine regarding abortion.

#6  Pavel Dzjidzjov (Nov 11)

I’m guessing no one knows how to pronounce this one.

Supporting me in this regard is how Google insists on “showing results for Pawel Dziedzic.” Heck, they are the same guy, right?

Pavel/Pawel is one of our modern saints, martyred in 1952 by the Bulgarian Commies. He’s actually only a beatus, or Blessed. One more miracle, though, and he’ll truly be a saint.

#5  Josephat Chichkov (Nov 11)

You gotta wonder why there aren’t more cute little baby Josephats out there. Got a nice ring to it, don’t you think?

You’re not going to believe this, but Josephat was actually a companion of Pavel. Other companions include Kamen Vitchev and Eugene Bossilkov. Nice try, you two, but I’m afraid your gonna have up your game a little if you want to appear on this list with Pawel/Pavel and Josephat.

#4  Josaphat Kuncewicz  (Nov 12)

It was a good week for Josaphats …

Interestingly, this Josaphat was not pals with all those other guys. In fact, this Josaphat lived back in the 16th and 17th Centuries. He was born a noble in what is now Ukraine. A monk and then a priest and archbishop, his main claim to fame was getting caught in between the Catholic and Orthodox churches and ending up a martyr.

Ouch!

#3  Livinus (Nov 12)
Representation:  bishop holding his tongue with a pair of tongs

But why? Why was he holding his tongue with a pair of thongs?

Well, as it turns out, said tongue was torn out as part of Livinus’s martyrdom. Interestingly, though, that didn’t stop it – Livinus’s tongue kept right on preaching.

Livinus lived in the same rough time as Vitonus, Cunibert, and Aedh. Another Irishman, he would head to the Low (or Benelux) Countries as a missionary (and subsequent martyr).

Rubens

#2  Five Polish Brothers  (Nov 12)

Also happens to be the name of a polka band as well.

Okay, I’m making that up.

Get this though … These guys happened to be neither Polish nor brothers. Instead, they were Benedictine monks, from Italy, who just so happened to have been martyred in Poland. We’re talking the year 1005 here, by the way.

It's on!

#1  Maria Crucified Satellico (Nov 8)

I’m particularly thankful spell check didn’t correct that last part as “satellite.”  As that would have been weird.

Maria was born in 17th Italy and was raised by her uncle, who just so happened to be a priest. Quiet ambitious, as a child, Maria declared, “I want to become a nun, and if I succeed, I want to become a saint.” She would eventually become a Poor Clare and an abbess, but – unfortunately – not a saint (she’s only a beata).

Two other interesting things about our Maria – she was very musical and also suffered from demons. Not that those two are related, of course …

Honorable Mention

• Jucundus of Bologna
• Deodat of Rodez
• Chillien of Aubigny
• Rhediw
• Warmondus of Ivrea
• Adeltrude of Aurillac
• Nonnus of Heliopolis
• Narses of Subagord
• Veranus of Vence
• Ymar of Reculver

Nov. 1-7

This week includes feasts for both All Saints and All Souls. The first is for everyone who has made it into heaven, whether recognized down here as an official saint or not. The second is for all the rest of us.


#10  Martin de Porres (Nov 3)
Patronage:   hair stylists

Martin de Porres was illegitimate, of mixed race, and grew up in extreme poverty. He would eventually be apprenticed to a barber (whence the odd patronage).

Martin would later join the Dominicans, first as a servant and then eventually as a brother. He moved from doing laundry and working in the kitchen to ministering to the sick, handling alms, acting as a fundraiser, and founding an orphanage and a hospital.

Americancatholic.org also cites “ecstasies that lifted him into the air, light filling the room where he prayed, bilocation, miraculous knowledge, instantaneous cures and a remarkable rapport with animals” among his other accomplishments.

A little off the top?

#9  Austremonius (Nov 1)

Def: adj., of or exhibiting austremony.

I’m not sure exactly what that is (and, yes, I totally made that up), but I do know that St. Austremonius was a 4th Century missionary to Gaul, where he would later become a bishop. He’s also known as Stramonius, Austromoine, Stramonius, and Stremonius. And that’s about all I could find on this guy …

#8  Prosdocimus of Padua (Nov 7)

Not much on this dude either … I mean, other than that awesomely alliterative appelation, that is.

He may have been friends with St. Paul, who may have sent him to Padua, where he did become its first bishop. Though that’s all we really know about him, he was immortalized by a number of artists, including Donatello. Why? Not totally sure.

This one's by Andrea Mantegna

#7  Amicus of Rambone (Nov 2)

Sadly, that place is actually pronounced “ram-bone-ee,” not “ram-bone.” It’s actually the name of an abbey, in Italy. Ah, what might have been …

Oh, Amicus? He was the abbot there. Originally a prince, he would give it all up to become a lowly monk. We’re talking the 10th and 11th Centuries here, by the way. And that’s about all we know about Amicus …

The only image I could find out there of him

#6  Willibord of Echternach (Nov 7)
Representation:   cleric dipping his staff into a cask

No, no! No more for you, Willibord!

Finally, somebody with a bio … Though originally from England, Willibord spent a number of years studying in Ireland, traveled twice to Rome, and then ended up as a missionary in northern Germany. He is, in fact, known as the “Apostle of the Frisians” (the very northwest part of Germany and the very northern part of the Netherlands). He would also become the first bishop of Utrecht (in the Netherlands) and found a monastery at Echternach (in Luxembourg). Put ‘em all together, and you’ve got the “Apostle of the Benelux Countries” (that’s Belgium, the Netherlands, and Luxembourg, in case you didn’t already know).

Alas, I have no idea where the cask and staff come in.

Patron saint of the extremely skinny

#5  Winifred of Wales (Nov 3)
Representation:   Celtic maiden holding a sword with a fountain at her feet, and red ring around her neck where her head has been severed and restored

I’m not sure what I like better, the wonderfully alliterative name or the rather gruesome representation. Aw, do I have to choose?

So, here’s the scoop on the latter bit … Turns out Winifred was beheaded by a suitor, named Caradog, when she resisted his advances. Her brother, one St. Beuno, came along, stitched her up, and brought her back to life. She later became a nun and abbess.

Supposedly, a spring sprang up where Winifred’s head rolled on the ground. It would become famous for its miraculous cures, and a major pilgrimage site as well.

Said well

#4  Charles Borromeo (Nov 4)
Patronage:   apple orchards, starch makers, against ulcers, Monterey CA, etc.

Did I leave anything out?

Charles came from quite the tony family. His mother was a Medici, and he had an uncle who would become pope.

It’s not too surprising then that he rose pretty high up in the ranks, collecting titles like some of us collect coins or comic books or commemorative spoons:

• Abbot
• Bishop
• Archbishop
• Governor
• Secretary of state
• Apostolic administrator
• Papal legate
• Legate a latere
• Cardinal-Deacon
• Protector of the Kingdom of Portugal
• Abbot commendatario
• Vicar general in spiritualibus 
• Cardinal-Priest of the Title of St. Prassede
• Protonotary apostolic participantium and referendary

He was actually a major force in the Counter Reformation, played an important role in the Council of Trent, and was a major patron of the arts. Given all his many accomplishments and his very refined background, he still managed to live very humbly.

#3  Clydog (Nov 3)

This poor guy is also known as Clodock and Clitaucus. Wow, I’m not sure which of these three is the worst. They all seem equally bad.

Clydog was a young Welsh king, known for his just and peaceful rule. When a noble maiden fell in love with him, a jealous admirer of hers (and a friend of the king!), slew Clydog while the two (Clydog and the jealous dude, that is) were out hunting.

Clydog’s body was transported by oxen back to his seat, but when the cart broke down, Clydog was buried on the spot. A church was later built there, becoming a popular medieval pilgrimage spot.


#2  Rumwold of Buckingham (Nov 3)
Representation:   preaching newborn baby

This is a good one. I’ll let catholicsaints.info describe it in full:

He lived only three days during which time he repeated several times “I am a Christian”, and asked for Baptism (which he received from bishop Wilderin) and Holy Communion. Immediately after Baptism, he made a confession of faith, preached a sermon on the Trinity, reciting Scripture and the Athanasian Creed as part of his proofs. He completed this performance by predicting his death, and outlining his desired burial arrangements.

But, wait – it gets better:

A statue of Rumwold at Boxley Abbey could supposedly only be moved by people who lived pure lives. Purity was apparently measured by the size of a donor’s gift to the abbey since if it was sufficient, one of the monks would operate a ratchet mechanism that helped move the statue. This was exposed and the statue burned during the Reformation.

#1  Winnoc of Wormhoult (Nov 6)
Representation:  in ecstasy while grinding grain to flour

It’s not typically how I’ve felt before when grinding grain, but hey …

Winnoc was a Welsh prince who was brought up in Brittany, where his family had fled from the Saxons. He would later found the priory of Wormhout, in modern-day Belgium.  We’re talking the 7th and 8th Centuries here.

That great representation? Sounds like Winnoc particularly enjoyed doing the lowly manual labors around the abbey, including grinding grain. I’m afraid that’s all there is to it ….

Great name too, by the way. And wouldn’t you know, Winnoc is another one of those saints with many, many name variants:

• Winnoc of Wormhoudt
• Winnoc of Flanders
• Winnock
• Winoc
• Winok
• Winnok
• Wunnoc
• Winocus
• Vinocus
• Vinnoco
• Winnow
• Winwalo
• Gwynnog
• Pinnock

You call that ecstatic?

Honorable Mention

• Wulganus
• Dominator of Brescia
• Innumerable Martyrs of Saragossa
• Clether
• Cadfan
• Dingad
• Dionysius Fugixima
• Gebetrude of Remiremont
• Spinulus of Moyen-Moutier
• Erc of Slane

Oct. 22-31

#10  Miniato of Florence (Oct 25)
Representation:  young man carrying his severed head

It’s a great – and super weird – representation, but I gotta tell ya, there are so many of these that that representation’s not going to get you any higher than #10 at this point in the calendar.

Poor St. Miniato has been totally overshadowed by the basilica built in his honor. The latter just so happens to be one of the architectural treasures of Florence. It sits on the highest hill in town, dates back to 1018, and is one of the most beautiful churches in Italy.

As for the saint, he was originally an Armenian prince, and served in the Roman army. He gave all that up, though, for life as a Christian hermit, with his hermitage where the basilica now sits. 

Needless to say, he got his portrait painted by a ton of pretty good painters

As for the head thing … Miniato went through the usual torments – wild animals, stoning, etc. – before finally being decapitated. Even that, though, wasn’t enough to stop our man. With head tucked firmly under arm, he took a stroll from the amphitheater to his hermitage, preaching all the way.


#9  Simon the Apostle (Oct 28) 
Patronage:  sawmen

Now, Simon is no mystery here. It’s the sawmen I’m wondering about.

Well, it’s actually not all that mysterious. According to Merriam-Webster, it’s just “one who saws or who repairs saws.” 

Simon is actually one of the more obscure apostles. To distinguish him from Simon Peter, our Simon is often called The Zealot. 

The association with saws? Unfortunately, it has nothing whatsoever to do with Simon’s occupation, but rather with his form of martyrdom. Indeed, poor Simon is famous for being sawn in half.

#8  Celina Chludzinska (Oct 26)

And if this one isn’t bad enough, would it help to know that she’s often referred to as Celina Chludzińska Borzęcka?

Yup, the last bit there is her married name. After her husband passed away, Celina and a daughter moved to Rome and founded a new religious community, the Congregation of the Sisters of the Resurrection. 

Before taking the veil

She’s a recent saint (well, actually only a blessed), having died just over a 100 years ago, in 1913. Celina was actually beatified less than 10 years ago, in 2007.


#7  Ethelfleda

This poor thing was also known as Elfleda, Elflaeda, and Ethelflaeda. She also usually gets the appellation of “of Romsey,” the abbey where she was abbess.

That last bit is also to distinguish her from Ethelfleda, the daughter of King Alfred the Great. Our Ethelfleda was a princess as well, though the daughter of King Edward the Elder. Got it all straight?

According to this site, our Ethelfleda was also known for skinny-dipping! In fact, they call her “Romsey’s naked nun”!!

I’m afraid you’ll have to settle for this however

#6  Gioan Dat (Oct 28)

"Gioan dat? You could hav dis instead.  Whachu wan?"

Gioan was an 18th Century Vietnamese martyr. There’s not a lot out there on him – in English at least. 

Almost everything I could find on him was in Vietnamese, a language that Google Translate seems to have some real issues with. Happily, that does give us such gems as:

• Fatherless childhood, his mother's permission to Achieve total dedication to the Lord under the loving care of Dad Loan Made At Banana.
• John Achieve seconded to Origin of Good Grapes, Than Phu.
• Since then, troops have found the chalice and vestments, it is torture landlord, Don Page and some others believe, huh.
• Father Made Bach Bat Training Tool posing as an old friend came to visit, and gave it to his father confessor Blessed Sacrament.
• A pot gong back up, everyone must back away.

The illustration doesn’t seem to help much either

#5  Ermelinda of Meldaert (Oct 29)

Ermelinda was a 6th Century Belgium hermitess, known for her strict penances. And that’s about all we know about Ermelinda …

I’d love to know what this is all about though

#4  Achahildis of Wendelstein (Oct 29)

Apart from the great name, Achahildis is most famous for being the mother of quintuplets. Not too surprisingly, her representation is often “with five children.”

Her other representations need a little explanation:

• Tree full of ripe cherries – “When she was pregnant in the dead of winter, she had a craving for cherries; a tree in her garden suddenly produced a full crop of them."
• Geese – “Once when she discovered that a servant had killed and stolen some geese, she forgave the servant and brought the geese back to life – including the one that had been cooked.”

Thanks, catholicsaints.info!

#3  Elesbaan of Ethiopia (Oct 27)

Elesbaan is another royal – this time, a king of Ethiopia. He was famous for invading Arabia, where the local ruler was persecuting Christians. Elesbaan fought him, lost, fought him again, won, then retired as a hermit.

Yup, he was indeed black

What I really like about this guy, though, are all the many names he went by – some of which seem to have absolutely nothing to do with each other:

• Elesbaan of Axum
• Elesbaas
• Elesbas
• Elesboas
• Ella Atsbeha
• Ella Asbeha
• Eleuzoe
• Hellestheaeus
• Calam-Negus
• Calam
• Caleb
• Kaleb

#2  Thomas Thwing (Oct 23)

It don’t mean a thing, if it ain’t got that thwing …

Thomas was a priest in England during the 17th Century. He was actually active after the period when Catholics and Protestants were killing each other right and left. He was, however, involved in a plot, the Barnbow Plot, to kill the reigning king. Poor Thomas was the only one to hang.

What I really want to know about, though, is that last name. Well, here’s what ancestry.com has to say:

Apparently an English habitational name from the place so called in East Yorkshire, named with Old Scandinavian þvengr or Old English þweng ‘narrow strip of land’.

#1  Quodvultdeus (Oct 26)

It means “What God Wills.” That still doesn’t make it any less weird or hard to pronounce though, does it?

Q (I’m assuming all his friends called him this) was a 5th Century bishop in Carthage, in North Africa. When an Arian Vandal came to power there, he sent Q and some other Christians to sea in some totally unseaworthy boats. Miraculously, they were able to cross the Tyrrhenian Sea all the way to Naples. Q was besties with the well-known Augustine of Hippo.

I would imagine that’s the Bible, so I’m wondering why Q seems so bored.

Honorable Mention

• Cuthbert of Canterbury
• Egelnoth the Good
• Clether
• Cadfarch
• Colman of Templeshambo
• Quadragesimus of Policastro
• Canna verch Tewdr Marw
• Bean of Mortlach
• Dodone of Wallers-en-Fens
• Albinus of Buraburg

Oct. 15-21

We’ve got two biggies this week, Ss. Luke and Teresa of Avila. We’ve also got one of my personal favorites, the North American Martyrs. That was actually the name of the church I attended when I was in junior high and high school. My wife had never heard of them before and thought I was making it up. 

They were actually just some French Jesuit missionaries to the Indians back in the 17th Century. You can probably guess the rest of the story …


#10  Hedwig of Andechs (Oct 16)
Patronage:  duchesses

For all you duchesses out there …

Hedwig was indeed a duchess – of Silesia and then later of Greater Poland, both by marriage. She was born a countess. Andechs was the name of her own noble line.

Both Hedwig and her husband were very pious, devoting much to charity. Upon becoming a widow, Hedwig gave everything she had to the church and retired to a monastery, where she led a very humble life.

You gotta admit, Hedwig’s a pretty awesome name as well.

For some reason, there were no shortage of odd images of Hedwig out there

#9  Frideswide (Oct 19)

“Fried’s wide” or “free-duss-wee-duh”?

Actually, it’s pronounced “fries-wide.” You can find the whole story in gory detail right here (just be sure to scroll down a couple of pages).

So, who was she (and, yes, she was indeed a she)? Well, she was a real-live (Anglo-Saxon) princess. Her main story seems to resolve around her adopting a religious life, but having a suitor pursue her nonetheless. When he tried to abduct her, Frideswide was forced to flee. Various legends have the poor bloke pursue her then either go blind or break his neck in a fall from his horse. Frideswide is the patron saint of both Oxford, where she ended her flight and settled down, and Oxford University as well. All this happened in the 7th and 8th Centuries, by the way.

BTW, she also goes by Frideswith, Fritheswithe, Frithuswith, Frevisse, and Fris


#8  Finnian Munnu (Oct 21)

You may be familiar with his holy brother, the Blessed Finnian Haddie.

Sorry about that (and I hope you’re familiar with that rather obscure reference). Finnian was actually an Irish monk and missionary to Scotland (where he’s known as St. Mundus). He founded a monastery, attended synods, was a famous miracle worker, and suffered without complaint from some horrible skin disease. He was active in the 6th and 7th Centuries.

Actually, there’s no shortage of Finnians out there. In addition to our guy, we’ve also got Lobhar and of Lucca, Moville, Kinnitty, and Clonard. Our guy is also known as Finnian of Tech Mannu, Finnian of Taghmon, Fintan, Finton, Munnin, and Mund.

It’s basically just a smoked haddock (popular in Scottland)

… um, finnan haddie, that is

#7  Augustine Thevarparampil (Oct 16)

Go ahead, try to even pronounce this one.

Well, I guess it’s better than the other name he’s known by – Thevarparambil Kunjachan. 

Augustine (let’s just call him that) was actually quite an admirable fellow – something of a male Mother Theresa. An Indian priest who lived during the 20th Century, he devoted himself to the Dalits, the lowest of the castes. 

He still kinda looks like Mr. Spock though

#6  Jerzy Popieluszko (Oct 19)

This one? I wouldn’t even try.

I debated including this one. There’s really not a funny story behind this one. The events are also very recent, so may still be rather sensitive.

Basically, Father Jerzy was a Polish priest who became associated with the Solidarity movement. He would later be hounded and framed by the government and survive several assassination attempts before finally being murdered, quite brutally.

He was beatified in 2010 by Pope Benedict, 26 years after his death.


#5  Artemius Megalomartyr (Oct 10) 

Is that like a megalomaniac?

Happily, “megalo” merely means “great,” so all this really means is Artemius the Great Martyr.

Artemius, who was born in Egypt, was a general in the Roman army. Quite popular with Constantine the Great (who made him Viceroy of Egypt), he would not do so well under Julian the Apostate.

#4  Luke (Oct 18)
Patronage:  Worshipful Company of Painters

Luke, I think we all know. The Worshipful Company of Painters? Not so much.

Actually, all they were were a medieval London guild company. Their official name is the Worshipful Company of Painters/Stainers. Famous alumni include Joshua Reynolds, Peter Lely, and John Everett Millais.

The association with Luke? Well, legend has it that the evangelist painted a portrait of the Virgin Mary. On the continent, the typical painter’s guild was often called the Guild of St. Luke.

Here they come!

By the way, there are also Worshipful Companies of:

• Distillers
• Apothecaries
• Plumbers
• Spectacle Makers
• Tinplate Workers
• Fish Mongers
• Cordwainers
• Environmental Cleaners

#3  Gall (Oct 16)
Representation:  abbot blessing a bear, which brings him a log of wood

Wow! Could we be any more random here?

Like Finnian, Gall was another Irish missionary of the 6th and 7th Centuries. Unlike Finnian, Gall went much further afield. He started out in Gaul (too bad he didn’t stay there or he could have been Gall of Gaul), then continued on to Germany and Switzerland. In that last location, he turned down a bishopric and founded a monastery. The Swiss canton of St. Gallen ultimately gets its name from him.

Oh, the representation? Here’s how the fine folks at Wikipedia explain it:

Another popular story has it that as St Gall was travelling in the woods of what is now Switzerland he was sitting one evening warming his hands at a fire. A bear emerged from the woods and charged. The holy man rebuked the bear, so awed by his presence it stopped its attack and slunk off to the trees. There it gathered firewood before returning to share the heat of the fire with St Gall. The legend says that for the rest of his days St Gall was followed around by his companion the bear.

Awww

#2  Proculus of Pozzuoli (Oct 18)

Proculus was a martyr with Januarius and five others during the persecutions of Diocletian (specifically, in 305). The seven were thrown to some wild animals, who subsequently turned into teddy bears. Seeing as that move didn’t go over that well, the authorities then chopped their heads off (which always seems to work).

Proc’s feast day used to be Nov, 19. This meant that he was formerly known in Italy as 'u pisciasotto, “the pants pisser,” as it traditionally rains on that day.


#1  Ursula (Oct 21)
Representation:  maiden shot with arrows, often accompanied by a varied number of companions who are being martyred in assorted, often creative ways

Longest … representation … ever.

And pretty darn weird as well. 

So, here’s the story with Ursula … It’s a bit of a shaggy dog story, so bear with me. Legend has her born a princess in England. Betrothed to the governor of Brittany, she traveled there with a bridal party of 11,000 virgins (her companions in the representation above). Before the festivities, however, she decided to take the party to Rome, where she was then joined by the pope. The group then headed north, being intercepted in Cologne by some Huns. And that’s where everyone gets martyred in those “assorted, often creative ways.”

Honorable Mention

• Ednoth
• Ethbin
• Ethelbert of Eastry / Ethelred of Eastry
• Gebizo
• Narcis Basté y Basté
• Thecla of Kitzengen
• Conogon of Quimper
• Gundisalvus of Silos
• Zoticus of Nicomedia
• Bernard of Bagnorea